A three part series for how to avoid buying trash and put an end to buyers remorse forever.
PART I: FURNITURE
My apartment in New York was cursed by a narrow entry hallway with a 90-degree angle turn at the end, which I discovered was problematic when the first “adult” piece of furniture I had ever ordered (a sofa from Room and Board) couldn’t navigate the turn from hell at the end of the hall. I paid for the sofa in cash from my cocktail waitressing job, and had to pay a restocking fee to send it right back to Room and Board. After that, I ordered only flat packed furniture that had to be assembled in the apartment from a limited handful of retailers – IKEA, Target, West Elm, and the like.
So when it was time to leave New York, I had to disassemble all that furniture to get it out of the apartment. And, after several frustrating rounds of Craigslist postings, was forced to put it all on the curb because no one wanted to buy used furniture that they had to transport to their place and re-assemble when they could just buy their own new shitty flat-packed furniture for not much more. My poor bookcases, consoles, and tables were like bastard children born from a loose scullery maid in a Jane Austen novel. Perhaps someone took pity on my orphans and took them in. But if not, they are languishing in a landfill somewhere outside of Queens.
This experience is the very definition of PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE. If you’ve ever owned a cell phone, a light bulb, a sequined top from Forever 21, or anything ever made by IKEA, you will certainly be familiar with the concept of planned obsolescence even if you didn’t know it before now.
Planned obsolescence; noun:
A policy of producing consumer goods that rapidly become obsolete and so require replacing, achieved by frequent changes in design, termination of the supply of spare parts, and the use of non-durable materials.
Let’s talk trash for a minute. How many pens have you thrown away in your life? Where are all my fucking sunglasses? Once I purchased an entirely new printer because it was cheaper than purchasing a replacement set of color ink cartridges for the printer I already owned. If you could make a pile of everything you have ever donated to Goodwill, everything you have ever sold in a garage sale, everything you’ve ever sold on Craigslist, put on the curb with a "take me" sign, or straight-up thrown away, how big would that pile would be? Think of all the cushions, rugs, bookcases, clocks, bed frames, ottomans, chairs, tables, sofas, lamps, and chandeliers you've relinquished because they broke or went out of style within 5 years of purchasing them.
If you’ve ever tried to re-sell any of these items you will know that nobody wants this shit after it’s been used because it’s essentially trash. But we just keep buying it. Sometimes it’s a purchase of convenience, sometimes it’s because you’re broke and it’s cheap. But mostly it’s because a jillion dollars of marketing research went into making it appealing to you so you could keep fueling the consumer culture that keeps making these companies money. These things weren’t meant to last because the people who made them designed it that way. I couldn’t move that furniture from my New York apartment because it wasn’t meant to be moved after assembly. It was meant to be thrown away.
The famed designer George Nelson wrote “Design. . .is an attempt to make a contribution through change. When no contribution is made or can be made, the only process available for giving the illusion of change is ‘styling’!” Enter the Big Box Furniture Retailer. Chances are, you probably have something (or many things) in your home that come from one of these companies. I mean, how could you not? Williams-Sonoma reported revenue of 5.292 billion dollars in 2017. That’s billion with a “B”. And if you think you didn’t shop there, Williams-Sonoma also owns Pottery Barn, PB Teen, PB Kids, West Elm, Mark and Graham, and Rejuvenation. Crate & Barrel also owns CB2 and The Land of Nod. Did you know that Wayfair also owns All Modern, Joss & Main, Birch Lane, and Perigold? Urban Outfitters also owns Anthropologie, Free People, and BHLDN. And the thing these mega-retailers have in common is that they don’t give a fuck about your home or what you put in it. They are the arbiters of planned obsolescence. Nothing you will ever buy at any of these stores will be handed down to your grandchildren because it won’t last that long.
I recently read the details of every single nightstand on the West Elm website. Over half of them state “Hardware may loosen over time. Periodically check that all connections are tight.”
Fuck that. If their hardware “loosens over time” then they need to come tighten it for me. Or better yet, perhaps they should familiarize themselves with the revolutionary concept of building better furniture. Dunno about you, but I don’t want to buy furniture that comes with a “this shit might fall apart soon, so get your tools out to make sure the legs don’t fall off” disclaimer.
If you’re buying furniture this year, take this advice with you to avoid the insidious trap of furniture regret: More is not better. Better is better. Be a discriminating consumer and inform yourself. Buying trash is bad for the planet, it’s bad for your bank account, and it’s an impediment to happiness in your home.
If you’re hanging your head in defeat right about now because you don’t know where to find stylish, well-made furniture that isn’t from a big-box retailer. . .chin up! I would never leave you to stew in mediocrity without a solution, because that’s against my rules. Here are my top picks for American furniture companies that are changing the game through quality, materials, availability and price. Or as Nelson said, making “a contribution through change. . .”
$ under $1,000
$$ 1k – 3K
$$$ 3K and up
